672

Six-hundred-seventy-two
Six-hundred-seventy-two
Six-hundred-seventy-two
Six-hundred-seventy-two

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Some day they'll find about you too...

*zurück*

A Night At The Roses

you should see yourself
when will you give up
every knob you twist on that machine is like a crutch

but i was just the fool
you’d been waiting for
who says we can’t touch
ourselves to keep from getting bored?
nothing else is touching thats for sure

a ring around the roses

i will watch you play
i come here every night
it’s just me the bartender the waitress and the lights
no one cares if you don’t get it right
we clap not for you but for our kind

a ring around the roses
everybody poses
threats and then backs down
the second you put clothes on

a ring around the roses
eveybody knows it
i will sing your fears
if you sing my neurosis

you should back out now
not a night too soon
i’ll still be here when the last poor soul has left the room
standing round just like a good friend should
smiling as if your songs were good

a ring around the roses
everybody poses
threats and then backs down
the second you put clothes on

a ring around the roses
everybody knows it
i will sing your fears
if you sing my neurosis

and i sat there for hours
waiting on the curb
thinking you might like a present from a pretty girl
a ring of fire around the roses’ door
a ring around the waitress from the verse
put it on before you lose your nerve
put your hands together and they’ll burst
make a sound that no one’s ever heard
and i hope we get what we deserve

*zurück*

Backstabber

the record goes from blue to gold
so thank you for all your help
I know you want to jump around
but try to contain yourself
you always struck me as the type to take it lightly
but now you’re gonna have to shut your mouth or fight me…

backstabber, backstabber….

you’re all alone you’re all over
the popular magazines will never care what do you care
you’re down with the japanese
but you’ve got no right to sit there saying I abuse it
when you only sleep with girls who say they like your music

backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber

backstabber! hope grabber!
greedy little fit haver!
god, I feel for you, fool…..
shit lover! off brusher!
jaded bitter joy crusher!
failure has made you so cruel….

rotten to the core
rotten to the core

rotten like a crackwhore
backing out out the backdoor
show us what you’re good for
stick it to the noise board
come on join the bloodsport
show us some support, still
working at the drugstore
is it because you’re A FUCKING

backstabber! hope grabber!
greedy little fit haver!
god, I feel for you, fool…..
shit lover! off brusher!
jaded bitter joy crusher!
failure has made you so cruel….

so don’t tell me what to write
and don’t tell me that I’m wrong……
and don’t tell me not to reference my songs within my songs

so here we go the open road
is covered with taco stands
and you can stop we’ll drop you off
and write to you when we land

backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber

backstabber! backstabber!backstabber! hope grabber!greedy fucking fit haver! BACKSTABBER!

*zurück*

Bad Habit

biting keeps your words at bay
tending to the sores that stay
happiness is just a gash away
when i open a familiar scar
pain goes shooting like a star
comfort hasn't failed to follow so far...

and you might say it's self-indulgent
you might say its self-destructive
but, you see, it's more productive
than if i were to be healthy

& pens and penknives take the blame
crane my neck & scratch my name
but the ugly marks
are worth the momentary gain...
when i jab a sharpened object in
choirs of angels seem to sing
hymns of hate in memorandum

and you might say it's self-indulgent
and you might say it's self-destructive
but, you see, it's more productive
than if i were to be happy

and sappy songs about sex and cheating
bland accounts of two lovers meeting
make me want to give mankind a beating

and you might say it's self-destructive
but, you see, i'd kick the bucket
sixty times before i'd kick the habit

and as the skin rips off i cherish the revolting thought
that even if i quit
there's not a chance in hell i'd stop
and anyone can see the signs
mittens in the summertime
thank you for your pity, you are too kind

and you might say its self-inflicted
but you see that's contradictive
why on earth would anyone practice self destruction?

and pain opinions are sitcom feeding
they dont know that their minds are teething
makes me want to give mankind a beating

i'm tried bandages and sinking
i've tried gloves and even thinking
i've tried vaseline
i've tried everything
and no-one cares if your back is bleeding
they're concerned with their hair receding
looking back it was all maltreating
every thought that occurred misleading

makes me want to give myself a beating....

*zurück*

Bank Of Boston Beauty Queen

ive tried dolls that were guaranteed sixteen or under none were very exciting
sorta like a laugh track or whacking off they’ll get you off but it’s just not the real thing
its been decades since my pit days
but i havent shaken it - i sit there like an idiot
still caught up in the old punk protocol
and dreaming that the teenagers will think that i’m a radical

and i still wait for the bus to come where high school got torn down
still expecting to find true love among the skateboarders hanging out
in back of the bank in my hometown

all this talk and no action’s got me stiff from the tit to the bone
so im living in lala land - but at least im not living at home
same old catcall same old chemicals
same old thrills stealing stockings from the shopping mall
its simple enough to grow the fuck up happy with the rough cut
nobodys in the market for a diamond in the rough but

i still wait for my mom to come and pick me up at holly’s house
10 years after they cashed it in to make a multi-level parking lot for a seven-eleven and burger king

i’ve got cryptographs i’ve got all the phones tapped
i’ve got proof enough it is indisputable
love’s not good enough i want pies and graphs
something that will teach me my arithmetic at last..

better rope the folks in - i’m on the loose again
and getting more ridiculous the more i think i ought to get my mind out of the gutter
(it’s getting dangerous, amanda, god - you’re old enough to be his fucking...)
my own private highway from the cradle to the grave
i save a bundle skipping middle age and saturdays

and i still wait for the cops to come where the station since bunred down
still convinced that they’ll pick me up for all the sins i committed in the back of the banged-up pickup truck

i’ve got autographs, backstage passes and leather jacket back patches up the...
ask me anything i’ve got evidence
single serving saccharine packets dripping black with lipstick kisses

i still wait for the bus to come back where the high school got torn down
still expecting to find true love among the sakteboarders hanging out
in back of the bank in my home-

i’m no pederast it was nice to ask
thank you ,but i’m capable of getting up and getting dressed
love’s not good enough i want photographs
something that will stand the test of...
time and time again
i think ill head downtown again
oh god
i’m thirty
no, i’m ten
i’m seventeen
and a bank of boston beauty queen....

*zurück*

Boston

all the cities in the world
and so very little time and
so many different girls...
all you have to do is find them
there's a wealth of opportunity you plan your trips accordingly
a pity but the pretty ones are usually more touristy
say how'd you like to run away from these machines?
everywhere the spies are printing out your dreams
seven stops in seven different countries
seven page itineraries memories thick as bloody marys jesus jospeh bloody hell

right now were here in boston
in love with downtown crossing
new york will still be there in the morning
come back to bed my darling

four years thrown away on vows we never kept
forty-five minutes every day religiously devoted to regret
time we could have spent on medication thrown away on education
and we planned to take a trip to scotland but we never made it
how'd you like to run away from these machines?
i had julians and steves
you had julias and jeanette s
you wear your terror on your sleeve for all the men i haven't met (yet)
i had oliver in potsdam you had elanor in amsterdam
we're keeping track so carefully we've missed the state we're in completely
honestly your foot is out the door and i've got scores of offers elsewhere and keep both
feet planted firmly in the air
and tomorrow you can totally erase me from your mind but trust me everything is fine
because
right now we're here in boston
in my apartment in the south end
forget your year in london
come back to bed my darling

you can put the details in a letter
the more embarrassing the better
right now i can be happy if i choose to
i know that in the morning i will lose you....

and maybe you'll go mad
and maybe ill go gray
and pack up to berlin
or maybe it wont matter anyway
we'll find out that your mom was right and you'll admit you're really gay
and maybe ill wake up
in a city far away
or maybe we'll make up
and buy a house and have a couple kids and labrador and microwave
but anyway
right now we're here in boston
in eden where you almost pulled your pants down
don't worry who these jokes will all be lost on
come back to bed my darling
there is nothing in the world that we can count on
even that we will wake up is an assumption
but i know for a fact that i loved someone
and for about a year he lived in boston...

*zurück*

Christopher Lydon

clutching the phone till my hands were sore
i never understood pain before, christopher
you cannot know what it does to me
hearing you speak with this frequency

i never knew what one voice could do
i was in heaven the moment i heard you
my friends go out drinking and having fun -
i stay in bed with my headphones on

shot down with arrows from waves above
christopher lydon renounced my love

it took so long to get through to you
i never understood sorrow, and now i do
i finally got past your moniter,
and you broke my heart in two, chrisopher

christopher, i am your listener, christopher,
i've never felt love like this before, christopher,
christopher, now and forevermore, chrisopher
i'll never stop saying christopher, christopher

finally i knew what i had to do
christopher i had to make the connection with you
i dont care that you could be my father, dear chistopher
i will be yours til the bitter end........

so during a show about joan of arc
i got through - i said:
"christopher lydon, you've stolen my heart"
when i asked if you felt the same way for me
you cut me off like a guillotine

drawn like a bull to a matador-
i just see visions of chrisopher
shot down by arrows from waves above
christopher lydon renounced my love

christopher, i was your prisoner, christopher,
i hope you're happy now chistopher
thank you for everything but i'm not listening anymore nor do i plan to contribute to NPR
christopher what do you take me for i'm not just any old talk show host groupie....
oh christopher.....is there a chance for me?
christopher...beautiful, beautiful christopher....beautiful, beautiful, beautiful christopher....

*zurück*

Coin-Operated Boy

coin operated boy
sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
but i turn him on and he comes to life
automatic joy
that is why i want a coin operated boy

made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
many shapes and weights to choose from
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend....

coin operated boy
all the other real ones that i destroy
cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i'll
never let him go and i'll never be alone
not with my coin operated boy......

this bridge was written to make you feel smittener
with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
i didnt think so but im still convinceable
will you persist even after i bet you
a billion dollars that i'll never love you
will you persist even after i kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying to prove it?
i'm dying to lose it...
i want it
i want you
i want a coin operated boy.

and if i had a star to wish on
for my life i cant imagine
any flesh and blood could be his match
i can even take him in the bath

coin operated boy
he may not be real experienced with girls
but i know he feels like a boy should feel
isnt that the point that is why i want a
coin operated boy
with his pretty coin operated voice
saying that he loves me that hes thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why i want
a coin operated boy.

*zurück*

Colorblind

i love you like a brother
and i love you like a child
and i love you like a lover
and i love you dumb and colorblind
and i love you like a mother
even after all you've done
and i love you like no other
but i know
youre not the one...

and i loved you in bright orange
and in violet and in green
and i loved you in such colors
as your eyes have never ever seen
and i loved the way you acted
but your one trick pony's dead
and i loved you unprotected
but you only love in
red

i know its dark for good
i never listen when i should
you only see in black and white
so go on back to your own kind
and i'll go back to mine

i love you like a brother
and i love you like a child
and i love you like a lover
and i love you dumb and colorblind
and i love you like a mother
even after all she's done
and i love you like no other
but i know youre not the one...

*zurück*

Dear Jenny

boys wear overcoats in heat like this to keep themselves from showing
girls fill out prescriptions for the tricks that keep their hearts from growing
specialists review the year in tears and call for drastic measures
send them to resorts for boys and girl to get their shit together

sad but true the facts of life are bound to get you down
so whats the use dear jenny anyway the world is pretty...

ashley talks to astronauts back home by way of fax transmission
andy gets a new tattoo each time he gets back bathroom privledge
weary o so drealiy we wave our flags into the camera
amber goes berserk completely she's been here since last december

sad but true the truth can turn your smile to a frown
so whats the use dear jenny anyway the world is pretty
upside-down...

the rates are better in the summer
looks like dear jenny's doing better...

back at home the broadcast warning bounces off of an empty table
jenny asks the astronauts to sleep with her behind the stable
christmas hasn't been the same since dad put in the central heating
checks you before bedtime with a battery to keep your new heart beating

and the world might turn a million times around before
they tell you jenny anyway the world is pretty world is pretty happy world is pretty happy

sometimes they let strangers in and other times they check their records
when they check out in the morning dad puts out the lie detectors
jenny prays to gods she've never heard of for a special warning
all the walls stay dead as jennys heart is
but shes still observing

sad but true the highgloss gloss paint wont tell you what to do
so whats the use dear jenny anyway
the world is happy
world is happy
world is happy without you...

the rates are better in the summer....
looks like old jennys doing better...

*zurück*

Delilah

there's no end to the love you can give
when you change your point of view to underfoot
very good
you may be flat but you're breathing

and there's no doubt he's at home in his room
probably watching porn of you from the fall
it's last call

and you're the last one leaving
and you thought you could change the world
by opening your legs
well it isn't very hard
try kicking them instead
and you thought you could change his mind
by changing your perfume to the kind his mother wore
o god delilah why?
i never met a more impossible girl....

in this same bar where you slammed down your hand
and said “Amanda, i'm in love”
no you're not
you're just a sucker for the ones who use you
and it doesn't matter what i say or do
the stupid bastard's gonna have his way with you...

you're an unrescuable schizo
or else you're on the rag
if you take him back
i'm gonna lose my nerve
i never met a more impossible girl....
i never met a more impossible girl....

at four o'clock he got off
and you called up
“i'm down at denny's on route one
and you won't guess what he's done”
is that a fact delilah?
larry tap let you in through the back
and use his calling card again
for a quick hand of gin

you are impossible, delilah: the princess of denial
and after 7 years in advertising you are none the wiser

you're an unrescuable schizo
or else you're on the rag
cause if you take him back
i'm gonna lose my nerve
he's gonna beat you like a pillow
you schizos never learn
and if you take him home
you'll get what you deserve

so don't cry delilah
you're still alive delilah
you need a ride delilah?
let's see how fast this thing can go.....

*zurück*

Dirty Business

Raise your glass
We have incorporated
Place your bets
We're all so sick of waiting
Queen takes jack
You got me this time but i"ll get you back
So pick a number

To all the ones who tried the most was I supposed to cheer your efforts
Sorry that I chose so poorly
Golly gee, am I the poster girl?

She's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places
The kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces
She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining
Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling

Lift your hats
Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs
They'd make an angels skin crawl
If you ask them for assistance
There's an even chance
You'll get a number

To all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masticate them
I've a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient
To all the ones that hated me the most a toast
You really had me going for a second I was nervous boy, am I the poster girl?

She's the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster
The kind who tells you she's bipolar just to make you trust her
She's the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser
Just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her

To all the ones who thought they knew me best a test to prove your prowess
Who was mine in '99? I want last names and current status
To all the ones who hated me the most a toast you really had me going for second I was nervous, boy am I the poster girl
for some suburban sickness? Better keep a healthy distance
Now its up to you know what to do its pretty
Dirty business

*zurück*

First Orgasm

it is a thursday
i get up early
it is a challenge
i'm usually lazy

i make some coffee
I eat some rice chex
and then i sit down
to check my inbox

i only read a word or two
i stare across the street and see the churches and the blue

the first orgasm of the morning
is cold and hard as hell
there won't be any second coming
as far as i can tell

i arch my back cause
i'm very close now
it's very cold here
by the window

there are some school kids
yelling and running
i barely notice
that i am cumming

the first orgasm of the morning
is like a fire drill
it's nice to have a little warning
but not enjoyable

i am too busy to have friends
a lover would just complicate my plans
so i will never look for love again
i'm taking matters into my own hands

i think i could last at least a week without someone to hold me
i think i could last at least a week without someone to hold me
won't you hold me?

*zurück*

Girl Anachronism

you can tell
from the scars on my arms
and cracks in my hips
and the dents in my car
and the blisters on my lips
that i'm not the carefullest of girls

you can tell
from the glass on the floor
and the strings that're breaking
and i keep on breaking more
and it looks like i am shaking
but it's just the temperature
and then again
if it were any colder i could disengage
if i were any older i could act my age
but i dont think that youd believe me
it's
not
the
way
i'm
meant
to
be
it's just the way the operation made me

and you can tell
from the state of my room
that they let me out too soon
and the pills that i ate
came a couple years too late
and ive got some issues to work through
there i go again
pretending to be you
make-believing
that i have a soul beneath the surface
trying to convince you
it was accidentally on purpose

i am not so serious
this passion is a plagiarism
i might join your century
but only on a rare occasion
i was taken out
before the labor pains set in and now
behold the world's worst accident
i am the girl anachronism

and you can tell
by the red in my eyes
and the bruises on my thighs
and the knots in my hair
and the bathtub full of flies
that i'm not right now at all
there i go again
pretending that i'll fall
don't call the doctors
cause they've seen it all before
they'll say just
let
her
crash
and
burn
she'll learn
the attention just encourages her

and you can tell
from the full-body cast
that i'm sorry that i asked
though you did everything you could
(like any decent person would)
but i might be catching so don't touch
you'll start believeing youre immune to gravity and stuff
don't get me wet
because the bandages will all come off

and you can tell
from the smoke at the stake
that the current state is critical
well it is the little things, for instance:
in the time it takes to break it she can make up ten excuses:
please excuse her for the day, its just the way the medication makes her...

i dont necessarily believe there is a cure for this
so i might join your century but only as a doubtful guest
i was too precarious removed as a caesarian
behold the worlds worst accident
I AM THE GIRL ANACHRONISM

*zurück*

Glass Slipper

no one's asking to go dancing its not like that anymore
its romantic if they mean it when they shut your fingers in the door
its a gory sort of story thats been told a hundred times before
it gets tricky dont be picky if the slipper fits you wear it whore

how many tips can i take home tonight without them getting mad
how many stitches do you think it takes to fix a cut that bad
how many minutes until midnight and you get your eyesight back

not to knock it i've been off it never moving very much at once
its been awkward i still offer it when its that time of
other girls shower but i give out flowers
to curious strangers who throw dollars at my feet

how many crimes can i try spotting dry before it leaves a stain
how many times say that i love you til it doesnt mean a thing
how many fittings must i sit through with my big feet blistering
how many strips until it hits me and my big mouth strikes again

i'm not asking to go dancing i'm not that dumb anymore
its exhausting to keep smiling when your toes are bleeding through the floor
its a gory sort of story thats been told a million times before
don't be sorry just ignore me because honestly
i'm too sore from fitting exactly to ride into setting suns aching to
stand on my own two feet

how many wishes do i still have left to fix the way it ends
how many princes will it take to put a girl like this back together again
how many instances can you point out where i was less than kind
how many happy endings do you need to change your fucking mind
and how much time do we have left before it's midnight and
you see that i was never the right size?

*zurück*

Good Day

so you dont want to hear about my good song?
and you dont want to hear about how i am getting on
with all the things that i can get done
the sun is in the sky & i am by my lonesome
so you don't want to hear about my good day?
you have better things to do than to hear me say

god its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i took out the trash today and i'm on fire...

so you don't want to hear about my good friends?
you dont have the guts to take the truth or consequence
success is in the eye of the beholder
and its looking even better over your cold shoulder

i'm not suggesting you up and line me up for questioning
but jesus think about the bridges you are burning
and i'm betting
that even though you knew it from the start
you'd rather be a bitch than be an ordinary broken heart

so go ahead and talk about your bad day...
i want all the details of the pain and misery
that you are inflicting on the others
i consider them my sisters and i'd like their numbers

god its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i took up croquet today and i'm on fire

i picked up the pieces of my broken ego
i have finally made my peace as far as you and me go
but i'd love to have you up to see the place
& i'd like to do more than survive i'd like to rub it in your face.....

hey! its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i had so much fun today and i'm on fire
god it's been a lovely day everything's been going my way
ever since you went away hey i'm on fire.....
i'm on fire...
i'm on fire...
so you dont want to hear about my good day?

*zurück*

Gravity

gravity plays favorites i know it cause i saw
honest to god officer it's awful
down at work i'm getting too familiar with the floor
showing off my talentsby the mouthful

hate to break it to you but its out of my control
forces go to work while we are sleeping
if i could attack with a more sensible approach
obviously thats what i'd be doing

now
necks are cracking sideways
hit me from the back side
i am on the white side
you are on the black side
cut a piece thats bite size
shoot me from my good side
if you got a straight line
this would be a good time

gravity works slowly if you notice it at all
some of us are getting mighty lucky
if you had to live with this you'd rather lie than fall
you thnk i can't fly well you just watch me

now
necks are cracking sideways
hit me from the back side
i am on the thin side
you are on the fat side
cut a piece thats bite size
shoot me from my bad side
if you got a straight line
this would be a good time

the sky is always falling down on me
so officer forgive me please!

*zurück*

Half Jack
(for my father)

half underwater
i'm half my mother's daughter
a fraction's left up to dispute
the whole collection
half off the price they're asking
in the halfway house of ill repute

half accidental
half pain full instrumental
i have a lot to think about
you think they're joking?
you have to go provoke him...
i guess it's high time you found out

it's half biology and half corrective surgery gone wrong
you'll notice something funny if you hang around here for too
long ago in some black hole before they had these pills to take it back
i'm half jill
and half jack

two halves are equal
a cross between two evils
it's not an enviable lot
but if you listen
you'll learn to hear the difference
between the halfs and the half nots

and when i let him in i feel my stitches getting sicker
i try to wash him out but like she said:the blood is thicker
i see my mother in my face
but only when i travel
i run as fast as i can run
but
jack comes tumbling after....

and when i'm brave enough and find a clever way to kick him out
and i'm so high not even you and all your love could bring me down
on 83rd he never found the magic words to change this fact:
i'm half jill
and half jack

i'm halfway home now
half hoping
for a showdown
cause i'm not big enough to house this crowd
it might destroy me
but i'd sacrifice my body
if it meant i'd get the jack part OUT

see

jack

run.....

*zurück*

Kaledrina

an arm is off
an eye is missing
a face is cracked
a mouth is rusting
a dress is ripped
a hand is stuck
this mechanism
seems to be broken

but pull the string
still it can talk

"my name is kaledrina,
and i love you very much"

when i woke up
my arm was off
my eye was missing
my face was cracked
my mouth was rusting
my dress was ripped
a hand was stuck
this mechanism
seems to be broken

but pull the string
still i can talk

"my name is kaledrina,
and i love you very much....."

*zurück*

Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner

He told me that I knew what to laugh at
And I wanted to but I just couldn't ask if he would take it back so I could know for certain
So on the bench I watched his left hand crossing
While doubling entendres with the voicings
He said "O darling, you're charming
Please don't find it alarming if I pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting"

Now there there
I'm a friendly man
I joke about sex because it's funny when you're frightened

So silently I sat and turned the pages
Recalculating our respective ages
Over my shoulder, he muttered, "If I get any older
You can hack my wrists off with your choice of objects
No, I'm kidding"

Don't be scared
I'm a friendly man
I joke about death because it's funny when you're frightened

This is as far as I could get
He jabbed a needle in my neck
Erasing all the evidence
But there were matchsticks in my pants
And if a rock should hit my head
And I remember what he did
You'll be the very first to know
Maybe I'll find out why this damn thing won't stop bleeding

He told me that I showed a great potential
That given I turned heads and pages
Fame would be a piece of cake
But practice was essential
So like a stupid child I believed it
And golly who would had agreed if
I had been Schubert or Mozart
Devoted to the fine art of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential

Don't be sad
I'll come back again
I joke about trash 'cause it takes class to be enlightened

So several decades have gone by
I am still sitting by his side
I turn the pages faithfully
He turns his head and smiles at me
And with a wink he says, "I doubt
We would be anywhere without
Your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting"

*zurück*

Mandy Goes To Med School

I've been feeling dull as a coat hanger
pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh iv
giddy as a gangbanger with a set of sutures where his magic johnson ought to be

yes i'll tell you just the thing you need to be the next big thing
let's start in with a test of your intelligence
and zest for the counter-productive
up and down and roundabout and out the back
and keep your mouth shut tight
the lights are staying out but no sweat I've got aim like a mack truck
guess how many fingers ok guess how many more i can fit there
guess right get the toaster but you know, miss, guessing gets you nowhere

i've been baking cakes for the enemy
i've been dying to find out the hard way
ive been taking friends to the alleyway
two down now but who's counting anyway?

yes I can do everything you need from out of my new SUV
all my work is guaranteed to last the length of your recovery
put away those pliers honey trust me cause I know the options
how about a nine-month long vacation and a two-foot coffin

i've been getting up close and intimate
some close calls but I'm getting into it
in some states they say you can burn for it
but ill burn that bridge when i get to it

it's not a bad thing
to get professional
it's got a nice ring
mandy goes to med school

i've been taking tips from the government
i've been getting damn good at hiding it
fifty bucks a month ought to cover it
two down now but who's gonna notice it?
and if you show up and I am unavailable
my partner brian would love to take care of you
he is a nice man
thoroughly reliable
he's in a rock band
and he goes to med school.....

*zurück*

Me & The Minibar

bring two prix fixe dinners up
I'll unwrap the plastic cups
it's just us my love
it's just us my love

I will make the room up nice
put your insides all on ice
it was real true love
it was real true love

close all the windows
put signs on the handles
and strip down to my dun-dun-duns
you have gone so far
you have gone so far

and tonight
its just me and the minibar

candles from the walmart that
every city's got to have
that I bought last night
that I bought last night

I was so excited to
do such normal things with you
when you left last night
with your toothbrush dry

no such details will spoil my plan
that is the kind of girl I am
HA HA HA

can you hear room 318?
man they're really happening
they're a wild bunch
they're a wild bunch
but if they just knew
what my night was coming to
god would they vomit and run
you have gone so far
you have gone too far
so tonight
it's just me and the minibar
nobody else
and I sing at the top of my lungs
happy birthday us
happy birthday us...

*zurück*

Missed Me

missed me missed me now you've got to kiss me
if you kiss me mister i might tell my sister
if i tell her mister she might tell my mother and my
mother, mister, just might tell my father and my father
mister he won't be too happy and he'll have his lawyer
come up from the city and arrest you mister
so i wouldnt miss me if you get me, mister, see?

missed me missed me now you've got to kiss me
if you kiss me mister you must think im pretty
if you think so mister you must want to fuck me
if you fuck me mister it must mean you love me
if you love me mister you would never leave me
it's as simple as can be!

missed me missed me now you've got to kiss me
if you miss me mister why do you keep leaving
if you trick me mister i will make you suffer
and they'll get you mister put you in the slammer and forget
you mister then i think you'll miss me won't you miss me
won't you miss me

missed me missed me now you've got to kiss me
if you kiss me mister take responsibility
i'm fragile mister just like any girl would be
and so misunderstood (so treat me delicately!)

missed me missed me now you've gone and done it
hope you're happy in the county penitentiary
it serves you right for kissing little girls but i will visit if you miss me
do you miss me? MISS ME??
how's the food they feed you??
do you miss me
will you kiss me through the window?
do you MISS ME? MISS ME??!!
will they ever let you go???
i miss my mister so!!!!

*zurück*

Modern Moonlight

presenting modern moonlight just as advertised
coke and pepsi finally found a compromise
how can they complain that we're all fucked up kids
when they keep on changing who our mother is?

like it all you want it's fruitless
night is in the way of progress

retinas are bleeding for the enterprise
surgically wired into paradise
yesterday I dropped in at the MKB
everyone was messaging like it was going out of style
(it was just the cynic in me)
god, I love communicating!
I just hate the shit we're missing...

everybody join in the magnificence
yes! everything is absolutely making sense…
every time you turn around your soul gets sold
to the highest bidder
then they turn around and merger and they merger
and the merger and they murder and they murder
the one who murders most will take it all...

fight it all you want it's useless
night is in the way of progress

we're gonna take your cities one by one
catch your cables cut your cords and spoil all your fun
we're gonna make your lite a living hell
cause stripped of your equipment you'll be forced to face yourself…

wire cutters of the world
you know what to use it for
spread the word to all the tightrope walker boys and girls
brace yourself for miracles
you're in for a nasty shock
when the war is over
you can read the paper

*zurück*

Mrs. O

oh mrs. o
will you tell us where the naughty children go
will you show
how the sky turned white and everybody froze
heaven knows how they got into the fireplace
but everybody's saying grace
and trying to keep a happy face

and oh mrs. o
can you teach us how to keep from getting cold
out we go and you watch us as we face the falling snow
what a show with our hairdryers aimed heavenwards
and fifty foot extension cords
you really have a way with words

the truth can't save you now
the sky is falling down
watch the vultures count the hours
april trains may bring strange showers

and oh mrs. o
will you tell about the time they made you go
all alone to the palace where they took your only clothes
we all know
there's no hell and no hiroshima
chernobyl was a cover up
the world is really all in love

oh mrs o
will you leave us hanging now that we are grown
up and old
will you kill me if i say i told you so
we all know
ther'es no hitler and no holocaust
no winter and no santa clause
and yes virginia all because
the truth cant save you now
the sky is falling down
eveything they ever told us
shakes our faith and breaks their promise
but you can stop the truth from leaking
if you never stop believing......

*zurück*

My Alcoholic Friends

I’m counting back
the number of the steps
it took for me to get
back on the wagon of the weekend

I’ll use the autotimer to prove that
I got home with my imagination
if they find the body in the basement
“in the very house that she was raised in!”

I’m taking down
the number of the Times
so when we get the sign
from god I’ll be the first to call them

I’m taking back the number of the beast
cause 6 is not a pretty number
8 or 3 are definitely better
a is for the address on the letter
to my alcoholic friends

I’m trying hard
not to be ashamed
not to know the name
of who is waking up beside me
or the date, the season or the city
but at least the ceilings very pretty
and if you are holding it against me

I’ll be on my best behavior
taking shots for mother nature
once my fist is in the cupboard
love is never falling over

should I choose a noble occupation
if I did I’d only show up late and
sick and they would stare at me with hatred
plus my only natural talent’s wasted on my alcoholic friends
my alcoholic friend

*zurück*

Necessary Evil

Let's get lost
Fingers burst
It is an ordinary evening, yeah-ah
I am broadcasting are you receiving, yeah-ah

Sick sick sound
All fall down

It is a necessary evil, yeah-ah
Just like highway gas stations and people, yeah-ah

I remember the golden days when all this was a mystery and
You could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me.

And if you find yourself without me?
Can you find yourself without me? (3x)

Hey I'm fine
You say nothing but your tonuge is getting blacker all the time
it is a measurable feeling, yeah-ah
seven on a scale from dead to breathing, yeah-ah

I've connected speakers to my suitors at the discotheques
And they don't know the difference
Are they men or are they Memorex?
And if you find yourself without me
If you find yourself without me
c'mon find yourself without me
c'mon c'mon c'mon
And take your Listerine (Listerine)

I remember the golden days when all this was a mystery and
You could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me. (2x)

And if you find yourself without me
If you find yourself without me
c'mon find yourself without me
c'mon c'mon c'mon
And take your Listerine (Listerine, Listerine)

*zurück*

Sex Changes

dear mr. and/or mrs. sender-
we're pleased to inform you that your applications been accepted
starting from the time you get this letter
your life will be one never-ending
“hope you're feeling better”
you get your choice of an aesthetic
we'll need to chop your clock off (tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock)
it might not be what you expected
there is no money back once you've been ripped off

today's a very special day
the boys'll murder for it but what will the neighbors say
it leaves you feeling pretty hollow
it might be nice to look at
don't forget you're stuck with it tomorrow (and tomorrow, and tomorrow....)

you're big enough to stop pretending
you'll start to really show within a week or so
so don't go saying it's just come to your attention
you'll get more than you're asking for without the right protection

today's a very special day
and how you'd love to have a little thing with which to play
but love wont get you very far
today be still your beating heart
you'll have to keep on feeding it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be girls with no warning
girls will be girls will be guys will be boys that don't cry over toys that they use to beat girls they despise by the morning
they always said that sex would change you...

no second thoughts the knife is nearing
you'll never hear the little pitter patter pitter patter
of this little feat of engineering
of course i love you and of course it's what's inside that matters
but i think the whole charade is ending
it seems to me to be the only way to keep from getting
caught up in a long life of regretting
the doctors said that once you get a taste for it you'll keep on cutting

but while you happen to be here
why don't you whisper all those sweet forevers in my ear
stiff upper lip for all this sorrow
hurry up and stick it in
you never when it will end
tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow...

*zurück*

Shores Of California

he's been trying with limited success
to get this girl to let him get into her pants
but every time he thinks he's getting close
she threatens death before he gets a chance

and that's the way it is in minnesota
and that's the way it is in oklahoma
that's the way it's been since protozoa
first climbed onto the shores of california

and she's been trying with limited success
to get him to turn out the lights and dance
cause like any girl all she really wants
that fickle little bitch romance
that fickle little bitch romance

and that is why a girl is called a tease
and that is why a guy is called a sleaze
and that's why god made escort agencies
one life to live and mace and GHB

and that's the way it is in minnesota
and that's the way it is in oklahoma
that's the way since the animals and noah
first climbed onto the shores of california

must not be too kind
stop thinking love is blind
clench your fists yeah write
“she's just not my type...”

why all these conflicting specifications
maybe to prevent overpopulation
all I know is that all around the nation
the girls are crying and the boys are masturbating

and that's the way it is in minnesota
and that's the way it is in oklahoma
that's the way Aristophanes and homer
wrote the iliad and lysistrata (not in that order...)

and that's the way it is in minnesota
and that's the way it is in oklahoma
that's the way it's been since protozoa
first climbed onto the shores of california

*zurück*

Sing

There is this thing that's like fucking except you don't fuck
Back in the day it just went without saying at all
All the world's history gradually dying of shock
There is thing that's like talking except you don't talk
You sing
You sing

Sing for the bartender sing for the janitor sing
Sing for the cameras sing for the animals sing
Sing for the children shooting the children sing
Sing for the teachers who told you that you couldn't sing
Just sing

There is thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked
It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance
After the show you can not sing wherever you want
But for now let's just pretend we're all gonna get bombed
So sing

Sing cause its obvious sing for the astronauts sing
Sing for the president sing for the terrorists sing
Sing for the soccer team sing for the janjaweed sing
Sing for the kid with the phone who refuses to sing
Just sing

Life is no cabaret
We don't care what you say
We're inviting you anyway
You motherfuckers you'll sing someday...
You motherfuckers you'll sing someday...
You motherfuckers you'll sing someday...

*zurück*

Slide

a late april day and it's sunny outside
and a red little girl's at the top of a slide
and an an orange old man at the bottom
wants to take her for a ride
as she slips and she tumbles the orange man mumbles
pennies crash down from the sky
and he tells her he'll take her away where it's safe
and of course it is a lie
she's a third the down and her skirts are yanked up
and her little girl cheeks start to wrinkle
but her smile is wide and her legs are spread wider
her hair growing long and her hips getting larger
past getting brighter
light growing weaker....
she is halfway down now but the man is impatient
shakes change in his pocket he might have to wait but she's coming...
she's coming...

who are you blaming?
they're just playing!
that's a good one...
who left the playground
a good decade before the bell rang?

as she starts to draw nearer the view becomes clearer
the splinters are painful but she doesn't feel it
the pennies were loaded and as they exploded
she starts to spin out of control...
her eyes are now closing her sleeves are unrolling
up past her head and her veins are all showing
not that she noticed she's thoroughly focused on
one old man who's laughing...
who's laughing....
dont' worry
i've got you
don't worry
i've got you

the orangeman got you.....

*zurück*

The Jeep Song

i've been driving around town
with my head spinning around
everywhere i look i see
your '96 jeep cherokee

you're a bully and a clown
you made me cry and put me down
after all that ive been through
you'd think i'd hate the sight of you

but with every jeep i see
my broken heart still skips a beat
i guess its just my stupid luck
that all of boston drives that same black fucking truck

it could be him or am i tripping
and i'm crashing into everything
and thinking about skipping town a while
until these cars go out of style...

i try to see it in reverse
it makes the situation hundreds of times worse
when i wonder if it makes you want to cry
every time you see a light blue volvo driving by

so dont tell me that you're off to see the world
i know you wont get very far
dont call me if you get another girl baby
just call me if you get another car

the number of them is insane
every exit's an exboyfriend memory lane
every major street's a minor heart attack
i see a red jeep and i want to paint it black

it could be him or am i tripping
and i'm crashing into everything
i can't wait til you trade that fucker in
by then they will have stuck me in the looney bin

it could be him my heart is pounding
its just no use i'm surrounded
but someday i'll steal your car and switch the gears
and drive that cherokee straight off this trail of tears

*zurück*

The Mouse & The Model

Nothing is certain at this time of day
You could reverberate you could decay
The mouse and the model are laughing at us
We'll risk it we're desperate for someone to trust

Let's start a new heart the new charts are in
We'll take them we'll break them we'll make them give in

By counting your blessings you wind up in debt
It starts with your family and camps in your bed
You jekyl and hide it when you could have left
Your guard down your dress up you must be upset

Let's start a new heart the new charts are in
We'll take them we'll break them we'll make them give in

It's dark over here on the flipside of reason
The teaser could be something easy like they did it in a book
You're a crook you're a fake you committed
If you did it say you did it if you didn't suck it up and say you did

Let's start a new heart the new charts are in
We'll tax them relax them and make them forfeit
The vote by a landslide the jekyl and hyde
Mackenzie macabre she's bonnie and clyde

*zurück*

The Perfect Fit

i could make a dress
a robe fit for a prince
i could clothe a continent
but i can't sew a stitch

i can paint my face
and stand very very still
its not very practical
but it still pays the bills

i can't change my name
but i could be your type
i can dance and win at games
like backgammon and life

i used to be the smart one
sharp as a tack
funny how that skipping years ahead
has held me back

i used to be the bright one
top in my class
funny what they give you when you
just learn how to ask

i can write a song
but i cant sing in key
i can play piano
but i never learned to read

i can't trap a mouse
but i can pet a cat
no i'm really serious!
i'm really very good at that

i can't fix a car
but i can fix a flat
i could fix alot of things
but i'd rather not get into that

i used to be the bright one
smart as a whip
funny how you slip so far when
teachers dont keep track of it

i used to be the tight one
the perfect fit
funny how those compliments can
make you feel so full of it

i can shuffle cut and deal
but i can't draw a hand
i can't draw a lot of things
i hope you understand
i'm not exceptionally shy
but i've never had a man
that i could look straight in the eye
and tell my secret plans

i can take a vow
and i can wear a ring
and i can make you promises but
they won't mean a thing

can't you do it for me, i'll pay you well
fuck i'll pay you anything if you could end this

can't you just fix it for me, it's gone berserk...
fuck i'll give you anything if
you can make the damn thing work

can't you just fix it for me, ill pay you well,
fuck ill pay you anything
if you can end this
hello, i love you will you tell me your name?
hello, i'm good for nothing - will you love me just the same?

*zurück*

The Sheep Song

red brush
washing up
look I made america
hush hush
don’t don’t rush
and don’t try to care too much

brown wine
turpentine
somethings musn’t be combined
sleep now
never fear
all your animals are here

counting sheep
I lay me down to sleep
but I see a sheep that will not leave
from the back they catch him in a trap
hit his head and send him off to bed

cutting by numbers is kinder
invest in one with a silencer
all of the studies say if they’re
calm when they die then they taste better

cutting by numbers is kinder
invest in the one with the silencer
all of the studies say if they’re
calm when they die then they taste better

goodbye
olive sky
I am crying all the time
there there
don’t despair
we will find your sheep somewhere…

*zurück*

The Time Has Come

the time has come to speak of many things
of jacks and queens and kings

i bared my wrists and promised to begin
but you cut the blade straight in

the time has come: let's play find the missing song
there is something very wrong

try hard my love do you hear the distant strings
please remember what this means

did i come back for all of this?
it seems absurd somehow...
with one well-placed flick of the wrist
you've really done it now...

(all of my blind ambition left me deaf with perfect vision)

the time has come
for things to come undone
that we should not have begun

at last i felt a numbness overcome
and now you turn and run...

the time has come
to take me in your arms and touch these fragile scars

you have the choice now so decide
if you want in or out
there is too much left for us to try
you cant just give up now

the time has come
to speak of many things
of jacks and queens and kings

it took that cut to bring me back to life
theyre bleeding and theyre frightened still i hold out both my hands:
no one in the world will ever touch me there again.

*zurück*

Thirty Whacks

thirty licks with a belt - playing tricks on myself
and i wonder if everyone else is this way
a succession of tests a triumphant success
each time it’s still intact at the end of the day

thirty drops in a glass - keep my temper and pass
with my breath held you bastards i’ll get you! but then -
its not really so bad, there’s still mom there’s still
damage to do before they wrest the axe from my heads

its no mystery: you should obviously go
before i break everything
you’re always telling me that youre dying to know
but you’re not really listening

how do i manage to station myself in harms way
and only get hit with a ticket for loitering
that i have no means to pay - and no strength to argue
the voices are infesting up through the floorboards and they’re
murmuring murder me
if i could shut them out just for an hour i swear
i could stop this catastrophe

thirty day guarantee
but that can’t include me
after all i’m at home in this childproof world
no sharp corners or glass
no small objects or plastic bags
please, these are death to a delicate girl

its no mystery - you should obviously know
that i’ll destroy everything
so dont keep telling me that youre dying to know
cause you’ll get what youre asking for

how can it be that i still put myself in harms way
and only get hit with a ticket for loitering
that i have no means to pay - what kind of place is this?
now all the voices are screaming this just isnt fair
but i’ve got a fool proof plan
if i can get them alone for an hour i swear
it’ll look like an accident
i could be decent yet
i’ll make up for everything
i could be president....

*zurück*

Truce

you can have washington i'll take new jersey
you can have london but i want new york city

i should get providence i've got a job now
los angeles - obvious - that's where you belong now

you can have africa asia australia
as long as you keep your hands off cafe pamplona

we can split germany right down the middle
you'd hate it there anyway
take berlin and well call it even

you can take all of the carry-on baggage
i'll trade the saskia jokes for the alphabet language

and if we find out that we have any children
we'll trade them off summers and alternating weekends

you call it over and i call you psycho
significant other?
just say we were lovers and we'll call it even
we'll call it even

i am the ground zero ex-friend you ordered
disgused as a hero to get past your borders
i know when i'm wanted i'll leave when you ask me to
mind my own business and speak when i'm spoken to

i am the tower around which you orbited
i am not proud i am just taking orders
i fall to the groud within moments of impact
i hit back if hit
and attack if attacked

you get route 2 between concord and lexington
i want mass ave from the sqaure to my apartment

and if we should meet through some misunderstanding
ill be very sweet very patient and forgiving
(now get off my side of the state)

and if we should meet one another in passing
despite these techniques there is sometimes no avoiding
(there must be some kind of mistake)

we'll raise high our white flags and say hi and shake hands
declaring the land we're on unamerican
we'll call it even

i am the tower around which you orbited
i am not proud i am just taking orders
i fall to the groud within moments of impact
i hit back if hit
and attack if attacked

i am an accident waiting to happen
i'm laughing like mad while you strangle the captain
my place may be taken, but make no mistake
from a little black black box i can say without shame
that you've lost
do you know what you've lost?

so take whatever you'd like
i'll strike like the States on fire
you won't sleep very tight
no hiding
no safe covers
make your bed and now lie
just like you always do
you can fake it for the papers but i'm on to you....

*zurück*

Ultimate Esperanza

downloading doves on your fancy computer
youre shooting for love in the dark
hey jude youve found her now go instant message
her name is a pretty good start

ultima sits in her bedroom in texas and
waits for her hamsters to touch
she lost her legs in a car crash three years ago
she doesnt get around much

but she is hoping someday
somebody will take her away

now that you got her a dress you can send her
a matching attachment and face
slick rhododendrons you make out of paper
with flowers that never lose shape

you have a video camera strapped to
your forehead in case she is true
smiling rewind as we die in slow motion
(as if its not happening to you)

don't blow it all at one time:
some girls are harder to find

don't be afraid of the dark ages darling,
the stage has been set and your carriage is waiting
to take you away from this place
where youll meet your bride face to face
knowing her name is enough: ultima...

foks trotting globes rotting under your fingertips
tapping for oil in vain
surely you wont think to hold it against her
she can't help that thats where she came
from
someone is hoping to find
her limbs in an auction online
knowing her name is enough:
ultima esperanza

*zurück*

Will

i won't try to explain what i cannot understand
it's a bird it's a plane it's a one night stand
if i only we could ride far enough
i'd forget you altogether
it's a bluff
there is no way i could not remember

don't ask me what i came here for
it is too delicate for words
i used to want to make you talk
now i would rather you did not

i don't mind if you read while i'm coming
it's alright if you need the t.v.
to keep from noticing my mind going blank
what's the worst thing that could happen?
is my back all that bad?
strike the match and watch the doll come open

don't ask me what i want from you
it is not something you could purposely do
i used to want to make you mine
now i have better things in mind...

*zurück*

Astronaut

Is it enough to have some love
Small enough to slip inside a book
Small enough to cover with your hand
Because everyone around you wants to look

It is enough to have some love
Small enough to slip inside the cracks
the pieces don’t fit together so good
with all the breaking and all the gluing back

And I am still not getting what I want
I want to touch the back of your right arm
I wish you could remind me who I was
Because every day I’m a little further off

But you are, my love, the astronaut
Flying in the face of science
I will gladly stay an afterthought
Just bring back some nice reminders

And is it getting harder to pretend
That life goes on without you in the wake
And can you see the means without the end
In the random frantic action that we take

And is it getting easy not to care
Despite the many rings around your name
It isn’t funny and it isn’t fair
You’ve traveled all this way and it’s the same

But you are, my love, the astronaut
Flying in the face of science
I will gladly stay an afterthought
Just bring back some nice reminders
And I would tell them anything to see you split the evening
But as you see I do not have an awful lot to tell
Everybody’s sick for something that they can find fascinating
Everyone but you and even you aren’t feeling well

But you are, my love, the astronaut
Flying in the face of science
I will gladly stay an afterthought
Just bring back some nice reminders

YES you are, my love, the astronaut
crashing in the name of science
just my luck they sent your upper half
it’s a very nice reminder
it’s a very nice reminder

And you may be acquainted with the night
But I have seen the darkness in the day
And you must know it is a terrifying sight
Because you and I are living the same way

*zurück*

Ampersand / &

I walk down my street at night
The city lights are strange and violent
I am comforted by the approaching sounds of trucks and sirens
Even though the world's so bad
These men rush out to help the dying
And though I am no use to them
I do my part by simply smiling

The ghetto boys are catcalling me
As I pull my keys from my pocket
I wonder if this method of courtship
Has ever been effective
Has any girl in history said
Sure, you seem so nice, let's get it on
Still, I always shock them when I answer
Hi my name's Amanda
and I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
and even if I went with you I'm not the girl you think I am
and I'm not gonna match you
cause I'll lose my voice completely yeah
I'm just gonna watch you
Cause I'm not the one that's crazy
Yeah …

I have wasted years of my life
Agonizing up at the fires
It started when I thought that to be strong you must be flame retardant
And now to dress the wounds cause into question
How authentic they are
There is always someone criticizing me
She just likes paying hospital
Lying in my bed
I remember what you said
There's no such thing as accidents

But you've got the headstone all ready
All craved up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction
Those his and hers matching
The daisies all push up'n
Pairs to the horizons
Your hands full of ketchup
It's nice that you're trying
The headstone's all ready
All carved up and pretty
Your sick satisfaction
Those his and hers matching
The daises all push up'n
Pairs to the horizons
Your eyes full of ketchup
It's nice that you're trying

and I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand
and even if I went with you I'm not the girl you think I am
and I'm not gonna match you
cause I'll lose my voice completely yeah
I'm just gonna watch you
Cause I'm not the one that's crazy
Yeah …
I'm not the one that's crazy
Yeah…

As I wake up to a cough
The blaze consumed the block
But poetically stopped at my apartment
And my housemates are all sleeping soundly
And nobody deserves to die
But you were awful adamant
That if I didn't love you
Then you have just one alternative

And I may be romantic
And I may risk my life for it
But I ain't gonna die for you
You know I ain't no Juliet
And I'm not gonna watch you wanna burn yourself out baby
No I'm not gonna stop you
Cause I'm not the one that's crazy, yeah
I'm not the one that's crazy, yeah
I'm not the one that's crazy…

*zurück*

The Point Of It All

Oh what a noble distiguished collection of fine little friends you have made
hitting the tables without you again no we'll wait no we promise we'll wait
june makes these excellent sewing machines out of common industrial waste
she spends a few months at a time on the couch
but she's safe she wears shades she wears shades
oh but no one can stare at the wall as good as you my baby doll
and you're racist for playing along
you're only human after all
and youre learning that just 'cause they call themselves friends
doesnt mean they'll call
they made the comment and just
but youve got the needle I guess that's the point of it all

maybe a week in the tropics would help to remind you how nice life can be
we propped you right up in a chair on the deck with a beautiful view of the sea
but a couple days later we came back and you and the chair were nowhere to be seen
you had magically moved to the closet eyes fixed on the spot where the dryer had been
oh yes no one can stare at the wall as good as you my baby doll
and youre racist for playing along
youre almost human after all
why on earth would I keep you locked up in here where you so love the fall
well the patterns laid out on the bed
with hundreds of colors of thread
but youve got the needle I guess that's the point in the end

it's better to waste your life watching the scenery change at a comatose rate
and to put yourself in and turn into one of those cigarette ads that you hate
and while you were sleeping some men came around and said they had some dementions to take
i'm not sure what they were talking about but they sure a mess of your face
but still no one can stare at the wall as good as you my baby doll
and you're racist for coming along you're almost human even now
and just cause they call themself experts doesnt mean that they'll call
oh they've got the permanent price and the homes with a stable address
and they've got excitement and life by the fistful but you've got the meaning
i guess that's the point of it all

*zurück*

The Kill

I am anarchist
An antichrist
An asterisk
I am atheist
An acolyte
An alcoholic
I am eleven feet
Okay, eight
Six foot three
i am an amazon
an ampersand
an accident
I fought the British and I won
I am a rocket ship
A jet fighter
A paper airplane

Say what you will
I am the kill
The only only one that makes you real
the only thing that makes you really truly safe from me

Put Pat Sajak back in office
Put Pat Sajak back in office
Put Pat Sajak back in office

I have a tendency
To exaggerate
Just a little bit
I am a plagiarist
A terrorist
Attention getter
I am optimist
A closeted
Misogynist
I fought the British and I won

Say what you will
I am the kill
The only thing that makes you real
Say what you will
I am the kill
The only thing that makes you real truly safe from me

Put Pat Sajak back in office
Put Pat Sajak back in office
Put Pat Sajak back in office

But the sun still sets on you
And your retarted party
Nobody came to ditch you and so you drink to
all the emptiness until you wake up
And there's hell to pay again

But the sun still sets on you
And your retarted party
Nobody came to ditch you and so you drink to
all the emptiness until you wake up
And there's hell to pay again

And the punchline poisioned you
And all the comebacks in the world are in your head
But you can't say them until everybody leaves
And it's just you and your imaginary friends...
Your imaginary friends...
Your imaginary friends...
your imaginary friends...
your imaginary friends...

*zurück*

Blake Says

Blake says no one ever really loved him
They just faked it to get money from the government
And Blake thinks angels grow when you plant angel dust
He shakes his pretty head
But darling, trust me, trust me
He's no valentine
Though he said he would be mine
His heart is in Alaska all the time

Blake stays underwater for the most part
He collects loose change for All Tomorrow's Parties
And when Blake dates girls with tattoos of the pyramids
He breaks their hearts
By saying it's not permanent
But in his velvet mind
He believes with all his might
We'll all go to Alaska when we die

Blake makes friends but only for a minute
He prefers the things he orders from the internet
And Blake's been having trouble with his head again
He takes his pills
But never takes his medicine
Like Candy in his prime
He likes his shirts to shine
And when it's two o'clock it feels like nine

Blake says he is sorry he got through to me
If it's ok he'll call right back and talk to the machine
Blake says it looks like acid rain today
He takes the fish inside
He's very kind that way
But just like Caroline
He doesn't seem to mind
The globe is getting warmer all the time

It's still cold in Alaska
It's still cold in Alaska

*zurück*

Bluesboy

bright, my little bluesboy
you smile too much
let's see a nice frown
don't touch so much

he made it look fun
what's done is done
I am so stupid
you are so young
and still i'd have to say
that now and then i'd cry to see your smile

still I have no reason
I have no rhyme
i'm out of your time
you're out of town
a difference not in years
but in the distance from a place that I look through

you cried for me twice
and I have hope, but not enough, no not enough
no not so little that
i'd dare to tie the rope

she lied for you twice
she doesn't like me
I understand but
she isn't nice

and I sat by the window
you wrote a story
you think i'm evil
I hope you're wrong
and still i felt a spark
when it's implied that I had been a good thing
once

i'm still dumb
but you're still young, but not enough, no not enough
no not so old that you could
realize what you've done.

*zurück*

Echo Gallery

They pose symmetrical
Scattered through the Echo Hall
Works of art in pensive phase
With the worldy critics gaze
And there's a special one
Another convert to the throng
And maybe in her wildest dreams she is a human
But anyone with brains can see she is the new one

The artist uses short brush strokes just like the master
Wave the finished product in the air to dry it faster
Then they spray themselves with anti-tarnish ultragloss
It reduces flaking and this cramps(?) would come
WIth hanging on the cross

How to be a Happy Statue
Five easy tips in our next issue
Youmight have thought all hope was lost
But now the chance is yours - and for a reasonable cost

She does her face in Cubist fashion like the others
Tonight the curator protects them with blue covers
And what's the point of looking pretty with no audience?
And won't you find it sad that beauty's based on inexperience?

And as for her we heard she had a little accident
Someonetipped her over and her face received a fatal dent
So it's all over because who likes imperfection?
Her only hope is that it might become a fashion

See only certainty
Bargain hunting destiny
Maybe she'll redeem herself with mightiness from off the shelf
Thus concludes the story of the Echo Gallery
Visit any time to see the fools who sold themselves to slavery

How to be a Happy Statue
Five easy tips in our next issue
You might have thought all hope was lost
But now the chance is here - and for a reasonable cost

*zurück*

June Is Busting Out All Over

There’s the smell in the air, rubbbed from an ad in a magazine
There’s that lust in my eyes their hearts light up like TV screens

June is busting out all over
June is busting out all over

How could you look the way you do when we can do so much for you
A drug for eyes, a drug for hips, a drug to give you sweeter lips to kiss

A screw, a pull, a twist, the drug that makes you prettiest

June is busting out all over
June is busting out all over

It’s sad but true, you’ll be ignored - Unless you have a credit card
Imagine life fulfilled and fun you could be a model or just feel like one
Girls, the men are playing court, to us, girls are playing everything they ought
Because we’re beautifiers, face-destroyers, aunts, mothers, sisters, daughters
Buy it use it, feel it, let it, If you don’t, you’re ugly sad and tragic

An 85 step diet plan - You need to try to please that man
Your finger nails are red like claws - but it’s not for a worthy cause because

It’s june and busting out all over
June is busting out all over

The pain’s not bad, It’s something like a wet electric shock
But he’s your fella, And you love him
And all the rest is talk

*zurück*

Mary's Surgeon

Mary's surgeon
Called me urgent
Get down to ward
And take...my god!
Who would date me in the dark
And for this labor
I was savoured
Tender and braindead
It went to my head

And we kept our lives
If your mouth keeps going where your mind won't go
You don't want to choke so chew it slowly
Nibble the edges on the kitchen floor
If it suits your taste, taste some more
If youre worried that it's bitter like a barbie doll
Hold your nose and swallow it all
If youre worried that it's all gonna go to your hips
Roll it round your rosy lips
If youre worried that it's all gonna go to your thighs
Close your eyes for a big surprise....

And Mary's Surgeon
Called me certain
Brand new flavour
I can savour
Such pity for the part

Mary's running away where we can't find her
Far away from smells that would remind her
Her hometown has burned down

But you will look
Staring at your face reflected in the fetid water
What shadows will it cast today
Familiar smells of fresh decay
You wish that you could flush yourself away

Complicitly leave your mark

And Mary's surgeon
Called me urging
Lord God, save us
It's contagious
It's contagious
It's contagious

*zurück*

Provanity

I’ve been pro-vanity since I was ten.
I picture altars in past the shutters-den
Baby bottle didn’t choke
there were no cherry lollipops, cherry lip smacker and I got off
Marry money have a child, keep it pretty ugly as you eat sushi and drink cocktails.

And I’m sick of your smile
And I’m sick of your cake
And I’m sick of your meaningless blather
And I’m sick of your hair
And I wish it weren’t there
Maybe some night i’ll visit you sweetly

There is no place I would rather be killed
Than in my own backyard
On my own propane grill
And lolly didn't stop the little melancholy absence and I felt high so I ripped it off
Money prices an unborn child it would be hated(?)
But you should be wary of those thirty fall drops

And I'm sick when I breathe
And I wish you would leave
At the very least have an abortion
I don’t need a damn life
And I don’t think it’s right
For a woman to breed for attention

I’ve been pro-vanity since I could know
No one will ever care to see what I don’t show
And momma didn’t lock and load it
Secretly we see
Could see a letter and withstood the shock
Oh my daddy felt I knew and consequently
Took control and took over the hope that was you

And I’m sick of myself
And I wish you could help
If you want to you can pull out the ladder
Oh, and it sounds so indulgent
Amazing i’ve managed
To keep you engaged for just four fucking minutes
And maybe you’d be provanity

*zurück*

Sandy's Song

And the last thing I'd recall
Her body standing on the stove
Sandy wiping her grey eyes
I was pleased and frightened
To see a grownup woman cry
She blamed her housemaid for her mind
But I think that they all knew it had to happen some time

I had rushed home from school
To see my favorite show
And as it happened, it was deadly cold that day
And as I peeled my mittens frozen to my wrists with snow
I swore I heard a voice come from the living room
And say:
"Oh...God
Oh...God
Oh...well..."

And when I peered into that room
My little afternoon took sick
Sandy hanging from the light
Her Levis wrapped around her neck

It was a sight to see
Old Sandy finally seeing me
And though she couldn't speak
I had a sinking feeling that she would have said:
"Oh, darling....more mascara"

She looked so peaceful in the air
The lightbulb shining in her hair
Her face was free
It frightened me
She looked happy
I guess she found the difference

And I thought about the joke
Where the man keeps up his rotting wife
She had maggots in her mouth
I wonder if what she thought right now

And then the car drove up
And then the car drove up
And I remember sleeping
And I remember sleeping...

And they wrapped her up and drove away
And now I have this crazy fantasy...

What if Sandy died in front of me?

*zurück*

The Living Room

Forty-seven strings are pulled
by this angelic "beating" girl
and it breaks our hearts to hear
the music that comes out of her.
shoulders hang on folded chairs
this will be our church tonight
we have dug out foxholes here
not an atheist in sight.
laughing shaking taking oaths
breaking sacramental cups
we pour the magic in our coats
thinking it can leave with us.

but it’s the wrong way out
20 steps but it’s so harming
when they talk out loud
bend to brace your fingers on me

I’ve been breathing evil air
sharing needles with the sky
looking up remembering
Regina said they're just old light.
but you somehow understood
my oversaturated skin
you held your hand up to my neck
and played me like a theremin
i see london i see france
and all the things that we won’t do
and if i never leave this chair
maybe i can go with you.

but it’s a long way out
20 steps but it's so harming
when they talk out loud
bend to brace your fingers on me
it’s a long way out
past the bar and past the awning
past the easy crowd
back into the end

we have found our solace here
in this unexpected place
like a startled, dying man
kneels in prayer just in case
and while the night sky sadly lit
all that you were sleeping through
death took my friend benjamin
but he left his keys with you
so I’ll kiss the air instead
as not to disturb your sleep
and if you never wake my love
maybe you can come with me

but it’s a long way out
twenty steps but its so harming
when they talk out loud
bend to brace your fingers on me
it's a long way out
psat the bar and past the awning
past the easy crowd
back into the end of harmony
back into the end of harmony
back into the end of harmony
back into the end

*zurück*

Have To Drive

I have to drive
I have my reasons, dear
Its cold outside
I hate the seasons here
They suffer mornings most of all
I feel so powerless and small
By ten o’clock I’m back in bed
fighting the jury in my head

We lean to drive
Its very common, dear
my friend and I
I’m very frightened. here

We suffer mornings most of all
we take our oxygen mask off
A song goes thick and makes us breath
We have no choice we have to breath
It is a delicate passion
Spin the bottle
End transmission
something leaking
It’s the weekend
It’s the weekend
Oh Christ the claws are broken

We’ll have to drive
Or else they’ll catch us
Jest get inside
And take our chance’s

We suffer mornings most of all
Wake in a Twisted mess and call to find a telephone and cough
“Meet you In an hour at the bar”

*zurück*

All lyrics © by Amanda Palmer